Trusting God With Your Baby

Recently my baby had to get eye surgery. It was a quick outpatient surgery, but required anesthesia for my 8 month old baby, Ember.

The surgery wasn’t a life or death situation (like heart or brain surgery), but I was still pretty anxious about it.

Thoughts like, “What if she never woke up?” or “What if the doctor messes up and makes things worse?” were just a few of the many anxious thoughts I had.

Amazingly, God used this experience to grow me in many ways. I know from personal experience that the biggest growth comes from going through difficult situations.

One of my life verses is Romans 8:28 and I think it fits so perfectly with going through trials.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

Relying On God

When I first heard the doctor said she needed surgery, I wasn’t really surprised. I was kind of relieved to know that we could do something about fixing her eye.

After giving birth to Ember, I could tell immediately that there was something wrong with her eyes. It was more than just the wandering or lazy eye that newborns can have sometimes.

At 2 months old, we took her to our local pediatric ophthalmologist. The doctor diagnosed her with Exotropia which is a type of lazy eye. From the diagnostic, it sounded like we just needed to patch her good eye for 2 hours everyday.

At 4 months old, the ophthalmologist said it wasn’t Exotropia but Brown’s Syndrome. Brown’s Syndrome cannot be fixed by patching, and needs surgery to cut one of the eye muscles.

I was disappointed and discouraged after that appointment. We also learned that we had to switch doctors to someone an hour away. To be honest, I didn’t want to drive an hour for a doctor. Even though the doctor was a little far, I had heard great things about him.

At 7 months old, we finally were able to see the specialist after being on a waiting list. He tested her eyes, and recommended surgery as soon as possible, so we scheduled it for 1/16/2019.

What I learned From Scripture

A few days before the surgery was when the anxiousness started. I stayed persistent with prayer and studying God’s word as the surgery day was getting near.

I know that as Christians we shouldn’t be anxious. I’ve heard the verse and read the verse many times, but actually doing it is another thing.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)

The biggest comfort and peace came from knowing everything in this world is God’s and not ours.

The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof,^[a
    the world and those who dwell therein,

Psalm 24:1

Ember belongs to God. Plain and simple. If God saw it fit to bring Ember home, God is still a good God. God uses every thing and every situation for His glory. As I read the above verse, I learned to let go of my baby and trust God.

No matter what happens, I knew I could trust God and know that He is good.

Hannah Hoffman

Experiencing Peace

Let me brag a little bit about my church family. I asked for prayer for Ember’s surgery, and we got many responses from our church family. Many individuals let us know they were and will be praying for us. I felt so encouraged by how many people were praying for us.

By sharing about the upcoming surgery, I learned that the pastor’s family had to go through the same experience 14 years ago with their own son. It was nice to know that someone else went through something similar.

Prayer is something I can improve on, but I prayed everyday for Ember’s eye. Especially 2 days before her surgery when I really felt anxious. When I was done praying, I had this sense of peace that I knew was from God.

The day of the surgery was no different. I had complete peace and felt at ease. My husband even felt the same way. I never experienced God’s peace like I did that day and it was amazing.

Good News

Ember did great with pre-op and many of the nurses came in and loved on her. They brought toys to keep her busy and every single person we came into contact was very friendly and helpful.

A medical student (who was observing the surgery) took Ember to the surgery room, I felt sad having to give her up but still felt at peace.

When the doctor finished and inform us how the surgery went, he informed us he had good news. He explained to us that it was in fact not Brown’s Syndrome, but what she has was Monocular Elevation Syndrome.

This was good news because he did not have to cut a tendon (which would have been permanent) up and behind the eye. Instead, he had to simply weaken a muscle in the bottom front of the eye which is easier to access.

Brown’s Syndrome surgery is usually only a 40-50% chance of success the first time. With this new surgery there is a much higher success rate.

Growing Pains

Ember is still recovering from her eye surgery and will need to do a couple of follow-up appointments. It wasn’t easy nor is the eye problem completely over yet, but I have learned and grown spiritually through this.

This blog, Striving For Miss Perfect was named this because I strive to be more Christ like – who is the perfect one. I know I have a long way to go with growing spiritually, but these growing pains are a good sign that I am getting a little bit closer to becoming more and more Christ like.

Have you learned an important lesson through trials and difficulty? What were they and how did you grow?